The Cynic's Tale

Surveyor, Sarah Carron had always considered herself to be a fairly intellectual person, with good grades at school, professional qualifications and career. So if anyone had asked her about spirituality a couple of years ago she probably would have scoffed and been a complete cynic about it all. However, after the breakdown of her marriage, a family split and sale of marital home, she fell into the deepest and darkest depression. This is her story to inspire others to have faith in themselves.

I realised that I had been depressed for many years with feelings of being extremely unloved. I also had an affair with a married man which only led to further feelings of low worth and wrong doing and ultimately rejection when he chose to stay with his wife. There’s a difference between feeling low because things have gone badly, to full blown depression. I can only describe it as ‘the black’. If I shut my eyes during this time I only saw black. Two weeks out of four (which seemed to follow my monthly cycle), I would literally have suicidal thoughts. Several friends suggested that I should go on anti-depressants, but for me I felt that it would actually be my downfall and there was something telling me not to go down this route. I was seeing a therapist during this time. She would say I had so much anger inside, but I could not see that, I could only see that I was incredibly sad and crying all the time. I simply could not seem to stop. Eventually when I was at a particularly low point, she suggested that I go on an 8 day residential therapy course called the Hoffman Process. 

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